9.17.2009

In the beginning.

I am a 26 year old stay at home mom to three and wife in Portland, Oregon. I have twin boys born in 2002 and a daughter born in 2004.

The subjects of egg donation and surrogacy have weighed on my heart for as long as I can remember. Only when I had my twins did I realize how deep the desire was to help others. I, like many others, sought comfort in others online that were going through what I was, who could offer support and advice with where I was in life. Naturally I sought ideas and help in how to conceive (there is more to it than just going to bed with your partner!). Through these message boards I was on, I gained a lot of knowledge but some amazing friendships as well.

During my time on these boards, I was posting with many who conceived easily and moved on to the pregnancy forums and eventually to forums that pertained to the ages of their children. But many women did not move on to these forums, they were held back at the TTC forums as they for whatever reason were not conceiving as easily as some. It was heartbreaking in a sense to move on to the pregnancy forum, when you were leaving behind many that had been trying for much longer than you and your husband.

In my years on these forums, I not only came across women who went through years of infertility, but miscarriages and stillbirths. A woman I "knew" online, who had went through quite a bit to become pregnant, gave birth to her stillborn daughter 41 weeks into pregnancy - just two weeks after I had had my healthy full term daughter. It was hard for me to sit there, nursing my daughter and thinking how this other couple who had tried for a child for longer than my husband and I had been married, were now faced with burying their child who had died in utero. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It made no sense to me.

In 2006, I went to my husband and though he had known of my previous desires to either donate my eggs or be a surrogate, I was now approaching him to seek out his okay in my becoming a surrogate. While some may wonder why I would seek out his okay, you must understand that when you are married, a surrogate mother needs her spouses approval for a number of reasons - because the spouse is involved - he or she needs to be tested for STDs, he or she needs to sign the contract as well and he or she will most likely need to provide some emotional support to the surrogate along the way.

My husband was immensely supportive of my desires. So with that, I went about reading as much as I could find about surrogacy. Within a few weeks, I was placing ads on surrogacy classifieds and applying with a few agencies. An agency I applied with, ended up finding me my first match. I was lucky in how quickly this happened and that the match was a good one.

Through out the remainder of 2006 and then 2007, I worked with this couple. It was a long road of dealing with attorneys, the contract, and just getting everything in order. It's not an easy process, but it's doable! In April 2007, I became pregnant. Within two days of finding out I was pregnant, I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, the following day I woke up to bleeding and realized I had had a chemical pregnancy. It was heartbreaking for my couple but also for me. While this was their child, it's that we had gotten so close to what we all wanted just to have it ripped away. I was shocked at the grief I had felt, but it made me more determined than ever to help these people have another child.

In July 2007, we became pregnant again. I was hesitant at first to believe it, but week after the first positive test and realizing things may be okay this time - I began letting myself believe it. The pregnancy was great. I was tired during first trimester, uncomfortable from 25ish weeks on but the pregnancy was great overall. At 38 weeks I went into labor and delivered a beautiful baby boy in March of 2008.

The minute the IF walked into the hospital room, he swooped over quickly to my bed to scoop up his baby boy. He carried his son around for a few hours, telling me his arms hurt from the weight of his son, but he didn't mind. During those moments, I thought, "This is why I did this!" But when the IM came into the room (she flew in the following day), it was THAT moment that made me realize why I did this. I still remember her coming into the room and it literally seemed as though she were floating. She came to my bedside, thanking me profusely and I had to steer her over to the bassinet which held her son. She stared at him in awe and with some gentle prodding from myself, she picked him up and just stared into his little face.. unable to look up, as she had fallen in love with another man. :)

I am now embarking on my second journey and am more excited than ever before. I matched with a wonderful couple in July of this year. We are currently in our first cycle trying, and I am on pins and needles waiting to find out if we are pregnant or not! The 2ww is really not easy on myself, someone that lacks patience. Haha.

I want this blog to be here to help me in documenting my journey for myself and my IPs. Also, to share another surrogacy story with others who are interested. And also to answer questions. As I tell family and friends, ask me questions - about anything, please! I would rather give honest answer than let media or similar give inaccurate information about surrogacy.

Here we go.. :D

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